Why I choose to give

It's hard to say when it all started. I remember being a young person and hearing about generous people and feeling very inspired and wanting to be that way, but didn't really know how. I think I made it a lot more difficult than it had to be. I also remember feeling intimidated by it, like that was other people's "thing" but was I just being trendy by doing it too? Lies from satan. A vivid memory stands out of my beautiful friend Haley Lamb. It seems she has always embodied this concept of serving and giving to others. I would look at her and think, "I'll never be that good of a person. It's too much work." Casually I would pray about it and there were specific moments when someone would compliment me on a piece of clothing or jewelry and God would prompt me to give it to them. The recipient was often taken aback, making sure I knew that wasn't their intention in paying the compliment. I knew it wasn't, but I wanted a heart change and guess what, God did it. Slowly but surely, my heart and eyes were opened and more sensitive to the needs of those around me. I hadn't even seen them before! It wasn't that I didn't care before- I didn't even know the needs we're there. The more needs I saw, the more I longed to fill them. Some small, some huge. Have people been changed as a result of my generosity? I'm sure am they have, but the most significant change I know of has been in myself. I give out of obedience to God- he said to give to the poor and needy and he actually meant it! Like literally go out and give someone some food or water! 

Sometimes when I've seen a homeless person on the street or a mother in need I'm skeptical. I wonder if they're being honest, if it's a scam or if they would use my money for drugs or alcohol. This thought used to keep me from blessing people in this way. Not too long ago I was convicted about this when I was with my mom and children and we saw a family begging for money in front of Walmart. (Shown in the photo) They seemed genuine, but before mom and I could make a decision about what to do my 10 year old son piped up and volunteered to give $5 out of his wallet. He didn't know to be skeptical or jaded and was more generous with his own money than I would have been with it. I realized (again) t's not my responsibility what happens once I've given. My only concern is did I do what I was called to do- give. 

The well

Hello all. I wish I had started this blog post earlier than I have. Life has been moving very quickly. 

As many of you may recall, I had a birthday party nearly two years ago that sponsored a garden being planted in Phakane, South Africa, where I went with a team that previous year (and the following year) to minister. We've learned a lot about the community there since then, and some have been difficult lessons. First, it's helpful for you to know that the seasons in South Africa are opposite ours. So while we are in summer, they are in winter. Initially, one of the biggest challenges was getting the community buy-in as far as taking care of the garden and their level of engagement. After some time of this and under Pastors Alfie and Muzi's wisdom and guidance, the garden was dug up, the community's buy in obtained, and then replanted. The garden does many things for the area. Primarily, it's a great tool for the church to use to practically minister to the women and children that come to the property during the day. The children play games and hang out with Pastor Muzi. The last number I received the garden (and supplemental grain) was feeding approximately 120 people a day. An awesome ministry!! Also, it provides nourishment to the church family for Sunday's Soup kitchen, held after church. 

The more recent need has become the need for a consistent water source. Currently there is no running water on the church property and to my understanding only very limited places in the entire village. There is a well in the town, but is heavily controlled by government and can be turned off at will if the water supply is too short. It is "free" water, but the locals have no voice on the matter. The town has about 2-3 days on average of access to the water. Thus, leaving little extra water for watering a garden. 

My goal for the last year has been to sponsor a well there on the church property. This way, they would have access to clean, consistent water and it would be completely controlled by them. At first I reached out to every water and well non-profit organization I could possibly Google. When I kept hitting road block after road block I took a step back. I re-read my favorite book "Love Does" by Bob Goff. Inspired by his example I googled national leaders, every the South African president and prime ministers and I actually got responses!!! Many of them responded and even offered to help. I was very encouraged and when I passed this information on to Pastor Alfie he responded, "wow! And the righteous are bold as a lion!" (More on this part to come). However, practically he did not feel it would work. They did not trust government and did not want their controlling the well.  Understandably, but again I felt discouraged at achieving this God inspired goal. One night after I put my children to bed I picked up my phone and dialed Bob Goff's cell phone number. If you haven't read it SPOILER ALERT his cell phone number is printed in the back of his book. He answered the phone that night and what followed were some of the most encouraging few moments of the whole process. He has spent much time in Africa and his succinct recommendation was that the well had to be done by someone local. It was the only way. Reluctantly I agreed. Reluctant because I knew just how difficult that would be for me all the way across the world with no immediate plans to return to South Africa. 

I emailed my local contact again and he agreed. Local was best. Within a few weeks we had an estimate from a local bore hole driller (as they call it) and I was overwhelmed. I cried because it felt possible. It was totally doable. For roughly $5,000 the church property could have access to clean water every day and access to countless souls that need the Gospel. 

Over the next few weeks/months (or however long it takes) myself and others will be fundraising for this cause. I hope that we have been able to inspire you to this vision. Be praying, I am considering creating an official non-profit organization centered on this cause. Pray that doors would open and the money would come. Pray that they can tap water!  In the words of Pastor Alfie, "Jesus is Lord and Africa shall be saved." 

Even when you think they aren't, they're listening...

I've not been the best version of myself lately. I've been grumpy with no particular reason to be. I've snapped at my kids and just been plain ole yuk! Last night I was feeling a little better and Collins and I were playing on the floor. He was being particularly endearing and chatty, laying flat on his back on the kitchen floor. I couldn't help but kiss and smooch his face. He's just so yummy. As we were laying on the floor face to face I said, "Collins, where did you get such beautiful eyes?" He quickly replied, "from Jesus and he lives in my heart." My eyes welled up with tears and my heart melted. "Who told you that?" I said.  "Daddy," he recanted. David was standing above us and confirmed that he had, in fact, told Collins a few nights ago. 

Isn't it just like God to drop that pearl of joy right when my attitude was yucky and I didn't feel particularly close to Him? As a parent I often wonder "are the boys listening? Do they know what/who we live for? Do they know to love others? Are they getting IT?" It can be discouraging to pour into children with thoughts like these. This simple, yet precious conversation with my almost 4 year old {sigh} reminded me that they are listening. They do see us and notice our moods and how we respond to stress and he bedtime stories and snuggles and fun. 

Here's to you, oh discouraged parent. Keep the good fight! Be encouraged that your children notice and listen, even when it doesn't seem so, and in due time it will bubble up in overflow. 

The Highlight Reel

Have you ever looked at someone and thought, "gah, they have it all together..."? I sure have. It's very easy to do when we scroll Facebook or only see someone casually at church. I watched a show tonight about a woman who had lost 156 pounds. She exercised, changed her diet and maintained a high level of accountability with her trainers. After she lost the weight the show rewarded her with a skin removal surgery. The whole one hour show was very inspiring, which spanned 365 days of this woman's weight loss journey, however, in the interview at the end the woman shared some interesting thoughts. She said, "lots of people are saying how great I look and they feel inspired, but it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm in therapy to help me change the way I think about food and my family has been rocked to the core with all the changes." I'm sure there is more that the woman chose not to disclose in the interview. She seemed to have experienced true pain as a result of her goals and dreams. It's easy to see someone walk across a stage at graduation or get a new job or lose weight and think they are lucky or have it all together, but what you haven't seen are the late nights studying, the endless job applications or the day to day sacrifices to lose the weight. It takes time, effort and dedication to achieve these things. One of my favorite quotes is by Theodore Roosevelt and says, "comparison is the thief of joy." 

One of my favorite preachers, Steven Furtick, says, "the reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else's highlight reel." 1 Samuel 16:7 says, "God doesn't look at things like humans do. People judge by what's on the outside, but God looks at the heart."  In the Christan Barnett translation it says don't look at someone else's Facebook feed for what their life is like, call them up, have a conversation- that's what God does! Only through relationship can we understand one another's journey and glean from it and that's not done through social media, but through quality time with one another. 

 I'm challenged by my own thoughts to engage in real relationship. Skip the chit chat next time and I dare you to ask some real questions of your friend, roommate or spouse. Get to know them. Ask them what they thought of a recent book they read or what God is teaching them. For it's through relationship with others that we are changed and, in turn, can point others to Christ. 

Waiting for hope to appear

This morning I was sitting with this view reading in Lamentations. I have forgotten how much I love this book of the Bible. The author of Lamentations officially remains nameless to my understanding, but many believe it was Jeremiah. In Hebrew Lamentations means "how". I've often asked God, "how did this happen?" Or "why am I going through this?" You may have asked this same question, as a result of yours or someone else's sin or poor decision. 

Lamentations 3:25-36 MSG reads-

"God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, 

To the woman who diligently seeks. 

It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. 

It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through hard times. 

When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. 

Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions: wait for hope to appear. Don't run from trouble. 

Take it full-face. The "worst" is never the worst. 

Why? Because the Master won't ever walk out and fail to return. 

If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense. 

He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way."

Maybe you have messed something up lately or maybe a relationship you have isn't working. Perhaps you feel God is far away or absent altogether. Maybe you're waiting for a God-given promise. There is  hope. I love what this passage says about entering the silence when we are seeking God for something. I know my default can be to phone a friend to gab about the situation before I talk to God about it. 

Nevertheless, take some advice from the "lamenting" book and go off by yourself. Pray about it, and whatever you do- don't ever stop waiting for hope to appear.  

Eating Clean/Fresh

Last night I made this dish. It's a white chicken lasagna. The recipe doesn't call for it, but I decided I would make everything from scratch or choose fresh (not frozen or processed) ingredients. Whew! It was a bit of work, but very yummy and I felt good about feeding it to my family. Don't be fooled, I don't have this down for every day. We do lots of fruit and veggie smoothies lately that are fresh and eat lots of fresh items, but we haven't committed even every dinner to it. 

I've posted the link for the recipe, but note I like to say, "use what you have". I had gone to the grocery that day, but forgot a few items and just didn't want to get some random bunch of fresh herbs that I wouldn't be able to use past this dish. For example, I only had a little mozzarella, but I did have sliced provolone, so I used it in between. No sweat. I also had basil in my garden, not oregano, so I used that. Get it? 

Be encouraged! Use what you have and do the best you can at meal planning. If you're like me you may sweat the small stuff, but try not too. Your family won't care if it looks like it came out of a foodie mag, just of it tastes good!

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/white-cheese-chicken-lasagna/detail.aspx

Bad habit.

So I have a bad habit. Well, I'm sure I have a few, but one of note for tonight. When we return from long trips I come home and immediately unpack everyone, all the toys, start the laundry, replenish groceries--everything. I always do my suitcase last thinking I can do it after the boys are in bed. Well, nearly every time I end up not unpacking my bags. I'm too tired or just want to sit. Then, the week jumps off to a quick start and my suitcase typically sits as an incessant eye sore in the middle of our bedroom floor for a few days reminding me that I haven't finished the task. Ugh I hate it! This past week was no exception. David even mentioned my unpacked bag last night... Tonight I made myself do it completely and I rewarded myself with some tv time. 

So, I write to encourage you. Finish that task you've been putting off. Feeling overwhelmed about tidying your home or workspace? Pick up 5 things and find them a home. Then, get rid of 5 things (either trash or donation). After you've done so, reward yourself! Seriously, a piece of candy, tv time, leisure reading-- something to motivate you while you're completing the task. You'll be surprised how much better you feel! I did this tonight with the boys and my house wasn't miraculously perfect, but the night felt more manageable. Plus, with the three of us, we did 15 things!